THIS IS BRAWL!
by Spontaneous Muse
Summary: A random oneshot where Peach first goes to Brawl assuming she skipped Melee . Random and supposed to funny. Mild language near the end. May be turned into a collection of oneshots.


I haven't written a lot in a while. For those who read my Pokemon Fics, sorry I haven't been updating but chapters are underway. School is hectic and I've had a busy summer.

Anyways, this is a really random fic that I thought of while I was playing Brawl. I was wondering why the heck was my cpu partner, Link, only lunging for items, why Pit is such an annoying character, and why Peach's voice is as snobby as hell. I hoped I portrayed them well here. :P

Ah well, it's meant to be funny. If this offends you in any way, 1. I'm sorry, and 2. Gtfo the internet.

PEACE!

:// Jakie

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Peach wasn't exactly sure what she had gotten herself into.

A few days previous, the pink princess of Mushroom Kingdom received a fancy-looking scroll tied with a ribbon in her favorite color (pink). She unraveled the scroll as was surprised to find a fancy-looking invitation sent from-

"Nintendo? What is that?" Peach had asked the nearest Toad, who only flashed her a blank look. Sighing, she continued reading through the fancy-looking invitation.

It detailed a meeting with other 'heroes' in an all out fight for the top. This intrigued the princess, she had never once been called a hero, save that one adventure when she was paired with a talking umbrella…

Anyways.

Being mildly curious about those other heroes and rather desperate to prove herself capable of holding her own fight to a certain plumber, she signed the legal agreement (and skipped over the fine-print that detailed 'Nintendo' did not take any responsibility to any… _accidents_) and returned it to the Toad who first brought it here.

Now, Peach pushed her gloved fingers into her temples as a rather loud, annoying voice screamed "GO CHARIZARD!"

She thought these heroes would be civilized. Rather, they were loud, gritty, _smelly_, and complete no-no's for Miss Prissy'n'Pink. She curled her lip at her surroundings (what was this dingy bridge anyways?) and tried to concentrate on the fight. Unfortunately, she couldn't grasp the idea that she actually had to get her hands dirty.

She looked around for anyone who seemed as lost as she was. To her right, a beautiful woman stood, her eyes following the fight intently.

"Who are you?" Peach asked as politely as possible. She ducked as an arrow whizzed right over her head. "WATCH IT!" She screeched at a winged angel.

The woman gingerly plucked her fingers out of her ears. "My name is Zelda. I don't think you should talk to an enemy."

Peach tilted her head to the side. A fellow princess was her _enemy_? Who decided that? She shook her head quickly. "Ok, then who isn't my enemy?"

Zelda glanced coolly at the Mushroom Kingdom's Princess, then gestured the bandana tied rather sloppily around her forearm. Peach's eyes widened at the absolute hideous orange, and quickly scanned around for others with the same color.

"Eww, who's that dude with the tights?"

"That, fellow princess, is Link. One from my kingdom." Zelda said a little disdainfully. However Peach ignored her tone of voice.

"WHY IS HE ONLY PICKING UP THE ITEMS?!" She screeched. "IS HE CRAZY?"

"Um, Link was brought up with items… He uses them everywhere. I mean, _everywhere_." Zelda explained as Peach watched, mouth hanging open, as her partner and so called hero began to beat the Angel she yelled at earlier with a paper fan.

"This is so… lame!" She couldn't help to exclaim, ignoring the fact she was so unlady-like. She kept her eyes peeled for her own personal hero.

Finally, she caught sight of Mario. But what he was doing made her ears practically expel a cloud of anger.

"WHAT. IS. HE. DOING?!" She screamed, as the plumber was merely running back and forth on the spot.

"Er, yeah. Sometimes they do that." Zelda said a little sheepishly. The pink princess once again pushed her fingers in her temples as the air quickly slipped into a symphony of grunts, screams of unknown words, and sounds of weapons clinking against each other.

Suddenly, a ball appeared out of nowhere.

"What is th-" Peach's words were swallowed as the ball floated over her head. All the heroes turned to her at once, then charged. She could've sworn one had jumped on her mass of blonde hair to gain a higher boost.

"UGH!" Peach screamed in fury, her perfect hair now scrambled. "HOW DARE YOU RUIN THE HAIR!" She leapt up and whipped out her umbrella, aiming for that little brat who jumped on her head. Unfortunately she missed and smacked that sphere all the heroes were aiming for so hard it burst, letting it's energy flow into Peach.

She was so angry, so furious, she released the energy in one go.

And she danced.

All the heroes fell asleep, and peaches suddenly erupted everywhere. All was silent until…

"… WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS BULLSHI-"

Suddenly, an unworldly voice said in a loud, thundering voice:

**SUPER SMASH BROTHERS BRAWL!**


End file.
